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As I walked through the
wilderness of this
world, as I walked through the
wilderness, as I walked
through the city with the loud electric faces and the crowded petrols of the
wind dazzling and drowning me that winter
night before the West died, I
remembered the
winds of the high, white
world that bore me and the faces of a noiseless
million in the busy hood of heaven staring
on the afterbirth. They who nudged through the literate
light of the city, shouldered and elbowed
me, catching my trilby with the spokes of their umbrellas, who offered me
matches and music, made me ,out of their men's eyes into a man shape walking.
But take away, I told them silently, the flannel and cotton, the cheap felt and
leather, I am the nakedest and baldest nothing between the pinnacle and the
base, an alderman of ghosts holding to watch-chain and wallet on the wet
pavement, the narrator of echoes moving in man's time. I have Old Scratch by the beard, and the
news of the world is no
world's news, the gossips of
heaven and the fallen rumors are enough
and too much for a shadow
that casts no shadow, I said
to the blind beggars and the
paperboys who shouted into the rain. They who were hurrying by me on the narrow
errands of the world,
time bound to their wrists or
blinded in their pockets, who
consulted the time strapped to a
holy tower, and dodged between bonnets
and wheels, heard in my fellow's footsteps the
timeless accents of
another walking. On the
brilliant pavements under a smoky moon, their man's
world turning to the bass roll of the traffic,
they saw in the shape of my fellow another staring under the pale
lids, and heard the spheres turn as he spoke. This is a strange city, gentlemen
on your own, gentlemen arm-in-arm making a rehearsed salute, gentlemen with
ladies, ladies this is a strange city. For them in the friendless houses in the
streets of pennies and pleasures a million ladies and gentlemen moved up in
bed, time moved with the practised
moon over a million roofs that
night, and grim
policemen stood at each
corner in the black
wind. 0 mister lonely, said the ladies on
their own, we shall be naked as new-born mice, loving you long in the short
sparks of the night. We are not the
ladies with feathers between their breasts, who lay eggs on the quilt. As I
walked through the skyscrapers, where the lamps walked at my side like
electrocuted men or the trees of a new scripture, I jostled the devil at my
elbow, but lust in his city shadows dogged me under the
arches, down the black blind
streets. Now in the shape of a bald girl smiling, a wailing
wanton with handcuffs for earrings, or
the lean girls that lived on pickings, now in ragged woman with a muckrake
curtseying in the slime, the tempter of angels whispered over my shoulder, We
shall be naked but for garters and black stockings, loving you long on a bed of
strawberries and cream, and the nakeder for a ribbon that hides the nipples. We
are not the ladies that eat into the brain behind the ear, or feed on the fat
of the heart. I remembered the sexless
shining women in the first hours of the world
that bore me, and the golden sexless men that cried All Praise in the sounds of
shape. Taking strength from a sudden shining, I have Old
Scratch by the beard, I cried aloud. But the short-time shapes still followed, and the counselor
of an unholy nakedness nagged at my heels. No, not for nothing did the packed
thoroughfares confront me at each cross and pavement's turning with these
figures in the shapes of sounds, the lamp-chalked silhouettes and the walking
frames of dreams, out of a darker allegory than the
fictions of the
earth could turn in twelve suns'
time. There was more than man's meaning to
the bare skull bogies thumbing the skeletons of their noses, to the
marrow-merry snackers scratching their armpits in a tavern
light, and to the dead man, smiling through
his bandages, who laid hand on my sleeve, saying in no man's voice, There is
more than man's meaning in a stuffed man talking, split from navel to arsehole,
and more in the horned ladies at your heels than a pinch of the cloven delights
and the tang of sulphur.
Heaven and hell shift up and down the
city. I have the God of Israel in
the image of a painted boy, and
Satan, in a woman's shirt,
pisses from a window in
Damaroid Alley. See now, you shining ones, how the tuner of harps has fallen,
and the painter of winds like a bag of
henna into the gutter. The high hopes lie broken with broken bottles and
suspender-belts, the white mud falls like feathers, there out of Pessary Court
comes the Bishop of Bumdom, dressed like a ratcatcher, a
holy sister in Gamarouche Mews sharpens
her index tooth on a bloodstone, two weasels couple
on All Paul's altar. It was an ungodly meaning, or the
purpose of the fallen
gods whose haloes magnified
the wrong-cross-steepled horns on the pointed heads, that windily informed me
of man's lower walking, and, as I thrust the dead-and-bandaged and a
split-like-cabbage enemy to my right
side, up sidled my no-bigger-than-a-thimble friends to the naked left. He who
played the sorcerer, appearing all
at one time in a dozen
sulphurous beckonings, saying, out of
a dozen mouths, We shall be naked as the slant-thighed queens of Asia in your
dreams, was a
symbol in the
story of man's
journey through the
symboled city. And that which shifted with
the greased lightning of a
serpent from the nest holes in the bases
of the cathedral pillars, tracking round the margins of the four cindery
winds, was, too, a
symbol in that city
journey. In a mouse tailed woman
and a holy
snake, the
symbols of the city writhed before me. But
by one red horn I had that double image,
tore off the furry stays and leather jacket. We shall be naked, said Old
Scratch variously emerging, as a Jew girl crucified to the bedposts. We are all
metaphors of the sound of shape of the shape of sound, break us we take
another shape. Sideways the
snake and the woman stroked a cross in
the air. I saw the
star fall that broke a cloud up, and
dodged between bonnets and wheels to the ill-lit streets where I saw Daniel Dom
lurching after a painted shadow. We walked into the
Seven Sins. Two little girls danced barefoot in
the sawdust, and a bottle splintered on their legs. A negress loosened the
straps of her yellow frock and bared a breast, holding a plate under the black
flesh. Buy a pound, she said, and thrust
her breast in Daniel's face. He faced the women as they moved, a yellow, noisy
sea towards us, and caught the half-naked negress by the wrist. Like a woman
confronted by a tower, You are so strong, my love, she said, and kissed him
full on the mouth. But before the sea
could circle us, we were out through the swing-doors into the street and the
mid-winter night where the
moonlight, salt white no longer,
hung windlessly over the city. They were night's
enemies who made a lamp out of the
devil's eye, but we followed a midnight radiance around the
corners, like two weird
brothers trod in the glittering web
prints. In their damp hats and raincoats, in the blaze of shop
window, the people jostled
against us on the pavements, and a
gutter boy caught me by the sleeve. Buy an almanac, he said. It was the bitter
end of the year. Now the star fall had
ended, the sky was a hole in space. How
long, how long, lord of the hail, shall my city rock on, and the
seven deadly seas wait tidelessly for the
moon, the bitter end the last
tide-spinning of the full circle. Daniel lamented, trailing the
midnight
radiance to the door of the Deadly Virtue
where the light went out and the glittering
web prints faded. We were forever climbing the steps of a
sea tower, crying aloud from the turret
that we might warn us, as we clambered, of the rusty rack and the spiked maiden
in the turret corners. Make way for
Mister Dom and friend. Walking into the Deadly Virtue, we heard our names
announced through the loudspeaker trumpet of the
wooden
image over the central mirror, and, staring
in the glass as the oracle
continued, we saw two distorted faces grinning through the smoke. Make way,
said the loudspeaker, for Daniel, ace of Destruction, old Dom the toper of
Doom's kitchen, and for the alderman of ghosts. Is the translator of man's
manuscript, his walking chapters, said the trumpet-faced, a member of my Deadly
Virtue? What is the color of the
narrator's blood? Put a leech
on his forearm. Make way, the image cried,
for bald and naked Mister Dreamer of the
bluest veins this side of the blood-colored
sea. As the
sea of faces parted, the bare-backed
ladies scraped back from the counter, and the matchstick-waisted men, the
trussed and corsetted stilt-walkers with the tits of ladies, sought out the
darker recesses of the saloon, we stumbled forward to the fiery bottles. Brandy
forth dreamer and the pilgrim, said the
wooden voice. Gentlemen, it is my call, said the loudspeaker, death on my
house. It was then, in the tangled hours of a new
morning, surrounded by the dead
faces of the drinkers, the wail of lost voices, and
the words of the one electric
image, that Daniel, hair-on-end, lamented
first to me of the death on the city and the lost
hero of the
heart. There can be no armistice for
the sexless, golden singers and the sulphurous hermaphrodites, the flying
beast and the walking bird that war about
us, for the horn and the wing. I could light the voices of the fiery virgins winking
in my glass, catch the brandy-brown beast and bird as they fumed before my
eyes, and kiss the two-antlered angel. No, not for nothing were these two
intangible brandy maids neighboring Daniel who cried, syringe in hand, Open
your coke-white legs, you ladies of needles, Dom thunder Daniel is the
lightning drug and the doctor. Now a
wind sprang through the room from the dead
street; from the racked tower where two men lay in chains and a hole broke in
the wall, we heard our
own cries travel through the fumes of brandy and the loudspeaker's music; we
pawed, in our tower agony, at the club shapes dancing, at the black girls
tattooed from shoulder to nipple with a white dancing shape, frocked with
snail-headed rushes and capped like antlers. But they slipped from us into the
rubber corners where their black
lovers waited invisibly; and the music grew louder until the tower cry was lost
among it; and again Daniel lurched after a painted
shadow that led him,
threading through smoke and dancers, to the stained
window. Beneath him lay the
city sleeping, curled in its streets and houses, lamped by its own red-waxed
and iron stars, with a built
moon above it, and the spires
crossed over the bed. I stared down, rocking at his side, on to the unsmoking
roofs and the burned-out candles.
Destruction slept. Slowly the room
behind us flowed, like four waters, down
the seven gutters of the city into a black sea. A wave, catching the loudspeaker in its
mouth, sucked up the wood and music;
for the last time a
mountainous wave circled the drinkers
and dragged them down, out of the world of
light, to a crawling sea-bed; we saw a wave
jumping and the last bright eyes go under, the last raw head, cut like a straw,
fall crying through the destroying
water. Daniel and I stood alone in the
city. The sea of
destruction lapped around our feet.
We saw the star fall that broke the
night up. The glass
lights on iron went out, and the waves grew
down into the pavements.
Dylan Thomas |
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