hoop dance

teaching the Mudheads to copulate

The Mudheads are not very intelligent.

Long ago they didn't know many things, even very simple, everyday actions.

So a man tried to instruct them. He tried to teach them how to go up a ladder.

He showed them how to do it, and they tried to copy him, but they couldn't.

One tried to go up the ladder with his feet upmost, standing on his head.

Another tried to climb the back of the ladder.

A third kept falling through the rungs, while a fourth got all tangled in the rungs.

They just couldn't do it.

Then the man tried to teach them how to build a house.

He showed them the right way to do it, and they tried to imitate his actions.

But one started with the roof and made the others hold up the ceiling while he tried to build downward from it.

Another put together a house with no doors and windows.

He built it from the inside, and when he wanted to go out, he found he had walled himself in.

The others had to break down the walls to let him out.

Still another made the mud bricks out of sand.

When it rained, his house collapsed into a sandpile.

Try as they would, the Mudheads just couldn't do it right.

Then the man tried to show them a really simple thing - how to sit on a chair.

They watched and tried to do as he did.

One sat on top of the chair back and tumbled over.

Another sat underneath the chair.

Another sat on the chair with his back to the front.

A fourth tried to sit upside down with his head where his rump ought to be.

They just couldn't get the point.

'Well," said their instructor, "I will try one thing more. I am going to show you how to copulate."

There was a skinny old woman who hadn't had a man in her for a long time.

"They can all practice on me," she said, "I don't mind."

So she lifted up her manta and bent over, and the instructor copulated with her in the simplest way - from the back as dogs do.

The Mudheads watched closely, and then they all wanted to try.

But none of them could find the right opening.

One tried to do it in the anus.

Another in the knee bend.

Another in the arm bend.

Another in the armpit.

They tried and tried.

They really wanted to do it right, but they couldn't.

"I give up on you," said the instructor.

The skinny old woman just laughed.

A Zuni clown dance story.


become not a mudhead

Let not care corrode and gnaw your heart, lest you fall into despondency and throw away the blessings you enjoy and with them your life.

Stir not the fire with a sword.

Irritate not an angry person - rather endeavor to sooth and appease him - free from the influence of passion, he may hear you.

Talk not on moral or religious subjects before immoral persons who are disposed to ridicule everything that is grave and serious.

Enter not into arguments with persons obstinate, or ignorant; who are either incapable of understanding, or predetermined not to adopt what you advise.

Bind yourselves not by vows, nor by oaths, to do, or to refrain from any act; if an act be proper in itself, you will have sufficient incentive to do it, without laying such obligations or restrictions.

Do not through weariness leave any business nearly completed in which you are engaged, unfinished, but persist to the end.

When you perceive yourself about to die, with patience and courage submit to your fate, and do not weakly and foolishly wish for an extension of your life, in the vain hope that you should live more carefully.

Do not attempt those actions one is unqualified to perform, nor discourse on matters one does not understand; more attention will be given to a blind man discoursing on color.

Do nothing to revive a settled dispute or contest in which you were engaged, you may not come off a second time so well.

Do not feed, or take under your roof animals of ferocious and savage dispositions, that have sharp and curled claws.

Do not awaken sorrow once sorrow is asleep. Do not wake a sleeping dog.

American Indian religious practices have often been prohibited by existing federal laws and government policies.

There have been three general areas of conflict.

Firstly, American Indians did not have access to a number of sacred places that the tribes had traditionally used in religious ceremonies.

Native American religious practices often came into conflict with the idea that American public lands exist for the use and benefit of the American people.

The results of the passage of the Indian Removal Act and the General Allotment Act were the displacement of hundreds of tribes, including the Five Civilized Tribes of the southeastern United States, and the forced assimilation of Native American families into agricultural settler societies.

The second conflict was the possession by tribal members of ceremonial items that are restricted under United States law, such as eagle feathers or bones (under laws to protect threatened species), or peyote, a ritual plant spirit and scheduled substance.

The third general area of conflict was an issue of interference.

Sacred ceremonies were sometimes subject to interference from overzealous officials or curious onlookers.

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