"I've been a
cartoonist for over two decades and I can offer some thought as to why the
Looney Tunes characters will not succeed in
the 21st century.
One reason is that viewer
sensitivity has forced censorship of the cartoons, but here is my idea of
where these cartoon characters would be today if they had continued to be the
animated superstars they were 50 years ago.
Elmer Fudd seriously lacked
firearm safety and his careless use of guns would
land him in a federal
He would be convicted of weapons violations to include:
Possession of a firearm
without a proper permit, attempted murder and
an assault with a deadly weapon.
Fudd would remain incarcerated without
would come out of his
hole with the need to publicly announce his
symptoms of nervousness,
irritability which are
associated with withdrawal from
excessive carrot eating.
Bugs would volunteer publically for rehab
in an effort to seek
sympathy from his viewers and restore his career.
Wile E. Coyote, a mastermind,
lives a life of violence and
a thorough investigation shows
transactions to the ACME Corporation for the purchase
of items used with the intent to
harm a US resident.
The Department of Homeland
Security views this as an act of terrorism and has him
shipped to the
Guantanamo Bay detention
camp where he will be detained
suspicious cuckoo hyperactive
behavior of Roadrunner requires a search; when
a controlled substance is
found he too is incarcerated.
Upon release his personality is
now similar to a chicken; he becomes part of a three piece special at the
Roadhouse Bar & Grill in Bisbee, Arizona.
Tasmanian Devil continues
to have anger issues, so
antiDepressant such as
prescribed by a doctor.
It helps his mood, but he now fights
an addiction to prescription drugs.
Bird becomes an important figure for the Humane Society.
They force regulations to increase his cage size
to give him more room.
Marvin the Martian is a real spacey
dude. He's like way way
Pepé Le Pew
is now portrayed as a pervert
and although his actions may
seem innocent to him, in
legal context his behavior is sexual harassment.
have come forward and his career in comedy is over.
who advanced slowly in social
development, developed an
eating disorder and joins two-thirds of adults considered to be
overweight or obese.
Speedy Gonzales was
an illegal immigrant deported back to
Sam was arrested for transporting weapons across the
Leghorn and Daffy
Duck travelled to the Boondoggle HQ in Afghanistan to negotiate the release
of their old friend Sam.
Detained in customs by the Department of
Agriculture for not having the proper
passport they are both euthanized.
Th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"
September 1933 Townsend
writes a letter to the editor of the
Long Beach Press-Telegram and launched his career as
an old-age activist.
Francis E. Townsend proposes the Old Age Revolving Pension
"An aged physician in Long Beach, California, was looking out
his window one day when he saw three old women
rooting in a garbage for food.
The vision set Dr. Francis E. Townsend's soul on fire.
inspired, he sat down to invent a plan and came up with the Old Age
Revolving Pension Plan.
The plan was simplicity itself.
Every person reaching the age of 60 would receive $200 a month.
There were four conditions:
(1) that he or she
(2) have no criminal record;
(3) have no income over the
$2400 a year;
(4) spend the entire $200 each month.
A man and
wife over 60 would get $400 a month.
There were 10,384,000 persons over
But the doctor estimated that only about 8,000,000 would qualify.
This would cost the country $1,600,000,000 a month or about
$19,000,000,000 a year.
The money would be provided by a transactions
tax of 2 per cent on every commercial transaction.
promise lite up the imaginations and appetites of the aged.
like a prairie fire among the oldsters until millions were marching behind the
good doctor as in a holy crusade." - John T. Flynn
The main argument
against the Old Age Revolving Pension Plan was that the taxes would not
be enough to pay for the high pensions, which would account for almost half the
1935 In response to the
continued popular growth of the Old Age Revolving Pension Plan, Franklin
D Roosevelt's proposed Social Security
legislation included two titles designed to help the elderly, neither of
them as generous.
Social Security Act passed in
California spends $160 million on its retirees.
retired city manager, collects a $500,000 a year.
Joaquin Fuster gets
James Stahl, Los Angeles County Sanitation District, receives
things change fast, human
history will show that the phenomenon of "retirement" was limited to one
When European and Japanese economies stood in tatters,
American corporatism could fulfill
"the American dream," since there was
competition to speak of.
For the first time ever, workers were
promised that "after working
thirty or so years" they would be able to securely retire.
That was largely the case for one
The second generation is
having a devastating reality check.
2008 was supposed to be a
watershed year for retirement: it was the year the retirement frenzy was to
begin with the first baby-boomers turned 62.
The economy has nosedived,
and many more retirements are being delayed.
The unfortunate reality is
that many who planned on retiring will work until the grave, joining the
millions of other baby-boomers who never had dreams.
At the end of
September, as the crisis begin, it was discovered in
the previous year
the value of stocks in 401(k)
accounts had fallen by nearly $2 trillion !
Much more has been lost
This is especially devastating since almost one-third of
401(k) participants in their 60s had 80% of their money in stocks (pension
funds also destroyed).
The 401(k) was
the scheme of the
Corporations offloaded their "burdensome" pensions and
used media and politicians
to sell the ruse to the public, to the great benefit of
were told that boom-bust cycles were a
thing of the past and that
stocks were a sure
thing." - Shamus Cooke 12/2008
California spends $3.4 billion on retiree pensions.
"We have two
classes of citizens: Government employees who can retire at younger and younger
ages, and those who have to wait longer to retire so they can pay
government employees." - Robert
"I spend a lot
of time fighting this incredible goverment giveaway to what has become the
new aristocracy -
public employees." -
Corporate America had been cooking
the books for many years.
The accounting debacle of 1999, touted as
the Dot-com Bubble, was actually the collapse the Long-Term Capital
Management hedging scheme.
resources are insufficient to continue
the current social order and guarantee workers the promised
retirement leads to 911.
spread the asbestos problem
round when World Trade
Center buildings housing the
Securities and Exchange
Commission offices that were investigating the fraudulent accounting
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the internati☣nal c☣rp☣rate cartel has garnered more and more
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